sapphire2309: (heart)
Hi! You can call me Tanya. I prefer she/her pronouns, though my appearance is just androgynous enough that I can be mistaken for a guy. My preferred word for my sexuality is sapphic. (I feel like I'm not gay enough to be a lesbian but too gay to be bi, so this is the in between.) If you're wondering about the journal title, Tanya isn't my wallet name. She's my online self, and she's my audience, as far as I'm concerned.

I post a hell of a lot about varied mental health crap behind an f-lock. I write for myself, especially when I write about my beliefs and thought processes. Lately, this journal has been a badly kept record of realizations about my mental processes. I hope all this introspection leads to some changes, no matter how slight.

Posts that aren't quite as personal (see: fannish interests, music, media) are typically posted outside of the f-lock. I don't know how often I post publicly, but there must be enough entries by now to give you a sense of my general style of writing. Journaling? Idk.

I write poetry sometimes. I keep those words at afirelullaby. This tumblr is very sedate and organised.

I also have another tumblr - sapphire2309. This tumblr is a typical tumblr tumblr. It is an emotional rollercoaster and also completely random. Kinda like me.

When the muse strikes, I write fanfiction. My main fandoms right now are Person of Interest and White Collar, though I have written in other fandoms, and posted thoughts about other shows. The best place to browse my fanfic would be at AO3, where I post as sapphire2309. The second best would be the various fandom tags on this journal, which I use only for fanwork and not random fannish thoughts.

My friending policy is fairly random. I add you to my circle if I like what you post. I give you access if I feel like I know you at least a little. I'm not comfortable accepting journal access from someone I haven't given access to, and vice versa. But if we have interests in common, feel free to reach out!

Comments are screened, in case you'd like to say something and don't want to use the DW messaging system for whatever reason.
sapphire2309: (puppy)
7. A song to drive to

There's this group called Antiqcool which has these really soothing guitar instrumentals that I always listened to while learning to drive. I particularly like All The Seeds (9:36 to 13:45 in the linked video). Come to think of it, this is good study music too...
sapphire2309: (Default)
6. A song that makes you want to dance

Green Light by Lorde. It's catchy. And there's a lovely piano bit right before the chorus that makes the high voices in the chorus (which I personally dislike) worth it.

the full list )
sapphire2309: (Default)
5. A song that needs to be played LOUD

She Beats by EMIKA. It's dance-y and angsty at the same time. I love it :D (NOTE: flashing lights and very quick jump cuts in the linked video)
sapphire2309: (Default)
4. A song that reminds you of someone you'd rather forget about

Budapest by George Ezra. My ex girlfriend sent this song to me saying 'this is how I feel about you'. It's a really sweet song (not exactly my style, but I liked it for the lyrics). It's just that we both fucked that relationship up pretty badly and ended up never speaking to each other again. I still have a book she lent me.

It was lovely while it lasted, though.
sapphire2309: (heart)
3. A song that reminds you of summer

I'm gonna go with Still In Love With You by Sade, even though pretty much any song with a good acoustic guitar line fits the bill. It's a very summery instrument. It's also true to my experience of summer in that it's casually melancholy without really going anywhere deep with the sadness, just staying on the surface. I sort of walk around like a zombie in summer.
sapphire2309: (Default)
2. A song you like with a number in the title

32 Flavours by Ani DiFranco.

Okay, let's be real here. "Someday you might find you're starving and eating all of the words you just said" is one of the most beautiful lyrics that has ever been written. I adore Ani DiFranco, and how she just is, you know? The way she just is the person she wants to be and casually gives a giant middle finger to anyone who tries to tell her otherwise. I would kill for that kind of honesty with myself.
sapphire2309: (Default)
There's a music meme going around my flist and I think it might just make me happier than trying to post about my brainstate, because I churn out the same damn positives every day. I'm going to try and pick happy songs.

1. A song you like with a colour in the title.

Blue Sunshine by Brandon Chandler. It's a beautiful little song that I first heard on Make It Or Break It, during a lovely moment with my favourite character almost getting everything she ever wanted. It still makes me a little emotional, in a good way. I always wanted Emily to have a happy ending, and I hate the one the show gave her, but at least she had this moment. Not that it's enough, in the long run, but it's something.

the full list )
sapphire2309: (Peggy 2)
Placeholder!

(i am so excited for this one :D)
sapphire2309: (puppy)
I've gone through LJ and unfriended anyone who I follow here on DW, so I don't stay in the habit of checking LJ first. I've also marked all my entries private over there. I'll be going through and making fanfic and writing memes public again, because I don't want anyone who may want to read over there to lose access to fic. I won't be posting any new work there, though.

Strangely enough, now that everything's imported and I can delete my LJ, I find that I don't want to. I was going through my bookmarked messages and riding a rollercoaster of emotions. I don't want to lose all those memories.

I think I'm going to hold off on it. At least until I can figure out how to save all those things, and keep in touch with people who are staying there.

Also, I'm thinking of trying to post teeny bits of fic here frequently - think of it as a sort of periodic drabble project? (I'm not shooting myself in the foot by calling it daily. If that's what it becomes, well and good, but I'm not putting pressure on myself.)
sapphire2309: (heart)
Hi! Thank you for your patience, writer, and I'm really sorry for the ridiculous delay. But, forwhatever it's worth, here's more details on everything I signed up with.

I'll be honest, my only exposure to soulmate tropes is through the occasional Tumblr post, so pretty much anything you write will be new to me :D


White Collar: Neal Caffrey/Sara Ellis; Neal Caffrey/Alex Hunter/Sara Ellis; Sara Ellis/Alex Hunter.

I love all three of these characters, individually and as a collective. Neal is basically my punching bag. I love inflicting various kinds of whump on him. Sara is my precious lonely girl, she's a bit of a self-insert who already exists in canon, except not quite, except yes. She pretty much takes what she wants, and is also not a villain, which is awesome. Alex... I'm still getting to know her, but I have a feeling she's got feelings buried somewhere down. (Deep, deep down.) She looks out for herself, and her agenda is the most important one in the room, far as she's concerned.

Medically Malignant Soulbonds/Soulbonds Cancerous to One's Soul
I don't know about you, but I can practically see Neal guilting himself over this, because of course it has to be his fault, that idiot puppy. On a more general level, will they or won't they try to be soulbonded despite the risk? If the risk manifests after the bonding, do they stay that way or do they break it? Can they break it? What's the treatment process like? Can it be treated? What's the prognosis? Does the cause lie in how the soulbond was formed (under duress, without consent, something like that?)

Injuries Transfer to Soulmate
Again, Neal guilting himself over this. Because of course he would. Only here for the angst :D

Multiple Soulmates
See: OT3 Though the mechanics could be interesting. How is it possible? Is there a ritual? Does it just click into place and ignore the monogamous world standard? Or is it the world standard?

One-Sided Soulbond
Neal, forever. That boy was made to pine for things and people he can't have. Alex, too, tends to deny herself some pleasures for the sake of a larger plan that only she seems to be aware of. Sara would probably be the reason the soulbond is one-sided. She doesn't let people in easily.

Refusing To Admit That You're Each Other's Soulmates
This one was made for Alex and Sara. They both seem like the kind of people who dislike the idea of determinism and fate and destiny, and they'd want a choice. Oh, the angst :D

Soulbonding as Body Horror
How does the bond degenerate the human body? Does it work in a similar way to the medically malignant soulbonds above? Is the bond too beautiful, too powerful for the frail human body to contain? Or is it a corrupt force, working to weaken and possibly cause the extinction of humans? Does it have to do with contact between two souls - maybe it's too much for one body to have contact with more than one soul? Are people aware of how it works, or do they just continue to bond regardless of the risk? Is it that only a subset of bonds degenerates the body? Why?

Soulbonding: Souls Can be Stolen
Neal and Alex, yes please. The moral issues alone are such lovely angst fodder. What if they're complicit, willingly or not, in a black market? What anti-thievery measures exist for this kind of thing? I imagine babies are prized if soul thievery is so rampant that only the rich can hang on to their souls with any degree of certainty. Why are these souls stolen in the first place? (Damn, I'm starting to wish I requested this for Shoot - this suits the theme of POI so well.) OOOH, but Sara as a recovery agent who specializes in returning souls to their rightful owners. Goddamn, I love this one.

Soulmates in a BDSM Universe
All of these lovelies tbh. They're not conventional in the thing resembling our universe, I doubt they would be in this one. What are the expectations placed on the various orientations in this universe? How do they subvert them? How do they find each other? (I see Neal as a sub-leaning switch and Sara as a dom. Alex I'm not too sure of.)

Soulmates Share Writing On Skin
Neal's writing? Because I bet anyone would be honoured to carry around a permanent mark that was designed by him. Words significant to their relationship? Words they both/all live by? I dislike the more deterministic soulmate tropes, but writing is just vague enough to pique my interest without being like a timer, which tbh takes all the mystery and fun out of the thing.

Your Ghost Can't Move On To The Afterlife Until Your Soulmate Is Dead Too
S6 spoilers

This one's here only for the angst factor tbh. Also, S6 ending. What if Sara and/or Alex dies and is all ready to meet Neal again, except that the bastard isn't dead? I can only imagine one/both of them vengefully haunting him and making his life hell. Except that then they see he's a very sad little kitten, and then... I don't know xD

Person of Interest: Root/Sameen Shaw

I love these two murderous cupcakes. I've only just finished S3, but I should be done with the series by the time fics are revealed, so no worries about spoilers.

Injuries Transfer to Soulmate
Root is constantly annoyed because of this because damn it, she's recuperated from bullet wounds more often than she's even been shot at. But also omg, Shaw while Root is being tortured by Control in S03E12?! Trying to help Finch while in the same pain as Root, and deaf in one ear? Oh man. H/C candy, right there.

Soulbonding as Body Horror
(c&p'd from above)
How does the bond degenerate the human body? Does it work in a similar way to the medically malignant soulbonds above? Is the bond too beautiful, too powerful for the frail human body to contain? Or is it a corrupt force, working to weaken and possibly cause the extinction of humans? Does it have to do with contact between two souls - maybe it's too much for one body to have contact with more than one soul? Are people aware of how it works, or do they just continue to bond regardless of the risk? Is it that only a subset of bonds degenerates the body? Why?

Your Ghost Can't Move On To The Afterlife Until Your Soulmate Is Dead Too
(yes, I've been spoiled for the death :/) Root would be the most annoying ghost though. Constantly frustrated by her immaterial nature. (What if Shaw becomes Root's analog interface? :D)

Coping With Soulmate's Death
How does Shaw cope? What's her process? DABDA or bullets?

Haunted By Soulmate's Ghost
This is canon. Shaw, haunted by Root's voice because the Machine still uses it.

Mutually Assured Soulbond-Destruction
This is canon. I don't know the details, but yep. Canon.

Having A Soulmate Is Simultaneously The Best And Worst Thing That Can Happen To A Person
This is canon. For Shaw, having Root as a soulmate is exactly this. (Admittedly, that's more specific to these two than general to a universe of soulmates, but well.)

Soulbonding is Illegal
And of course, that's exactly why Root wants to do it.

Soulmates Die If They Fall In Love With Each Other
This is canon. But what if they knew this beforehand? What if Shaw thought she was safe from this because of her stone cold robot routine? What if Root was perfectly fine with the consequences of loving Shaw? Ugh, these two. *hugs*

Unable to Form a Soulbond
Both these cupcakes, tbh. Shaw, because she believes herself feelingless, and Root because, well, Root. Or maybe it's more specific than that? Something about the way both of them are specifically that prevents them from bonding?

Moana: Te Fiti/Moana Waialiki; Ocean/Moana Waialiki; Moana Waialiki & Tala Waialiki; Ocean & Moana Waialiki

This is the polar opposite of everything above. Moana is too pure for life. I just. It's beautiful. Moana is the sweetest character ever, and she deserves the best.

Daemon Settles When You Meet Your Soulmate
Te Ka

Family Members As Platonic Soulmates
Tala and Moana :D

Dreaming of Soulmate
Moana dreaming of the ocean?

Magical Powers Awaken When You Meet Your Soulmate
Te Fiti gives Moana powers?

Only Soulmates Can Make Music Together
Moana is a musical, after all c:

Soulbonded to Someone Who's Lost Their Soul
Moana and Te Fiti, for a while there? Until she restores the heart? Or her and the ocean, while Te Fiti is powerless?

Soulbonding: Souls Can be Stolen
The heart of Te Fiti also contains her soul/an important part of her soul?

Soulmate-Induced Immortality
Moana with ocean or Te Fiti. (Cameo by Maui and wind?)

Soulmate-Identifying Marks
The tattoos that everyone on the island gets as a rite of passage?

Soulmates Share One Another's Pain
Moana with ocean or Te Fiti.

damn it dw.

Apr. 7th, 2017 12:05 pm
sapphire2309: (Kate)
i'm not gone yet because the importer queue is too deep. ahhhh i need to get rid of this account asap.
sapphire2309: (Kate)
I'm fucking off to DW. There's enough wrong with me and my brain right now that I don't need to worry about what LJ is up to on top of that. Will do one final import of my stuff here to DW, wait three days, then delete this account. Anyone who's on DW who I haven't friended yet, please leave your info in the comments.

(For anyone who's worried about me, I'm alive, I hope to continue to be alive for a while at least, my brain is shitty but I'm trying to get it back on track. For a significantly more detailed update, please friend me on DW. Sorry, but I don't trust this site anymore.)
sapphire2309: (Peggy 2)
Dear writer,

Thank you for waiting patiently while I gathered enough wits to put this together. I tend to sort my letter by character and ship. I hope that works for you c: Other letters I've written are more detailed and some of the characters and ships match - you can find last year's SSR Conf. letter here, and a letter for another fest that I signed up for with Agent Carter here.

Peggy Carter
BAMF. <3 Spy shenanigans? Beginnings of SHIELD? Early backstory, when she wasn't the confident badass we know and love? (No mention of the conspiracies surrounding her brother, please. I hate that ending storyline with a vengeance.)

Dottie Underwood
Love her to pieces <3 Backstory for her please! Her pesudo-Red Room past fascinates the hell out of me. Also post-S2 fic. Where does she go, what does she do? Does she have resources to fall back on? Old allies? Does a person like her even have allies? Does she have to learn how to survive in a world where she needs to make at least a few true friends to make it, or does she just lie her way through to the end?

Ana Jarvis
I adore this darling human being! She's such a sweetheart. She'd probably be baking for someone in distress. (Spiked with liquor, of course.) Or making garter-holsters for Peggy to match all her skirts. Or cheerfully keeping a lookout and being an excellent distraction while Peggy does some agent/spy thing. She's seriously awesome. (I probably should have requested Ana & Peggy, huh?)

Whitney Frost
Scare the crap out of me with this fabulous villain! She is truly terrifying, as she should be. What if she'd ended up with the world at her feet? What if she'd become famous for her brain before her looks? Would she ever even have chosen to go into acting?

Peggy Carter&/Dottie Underwood
Oh man, these two. Dottie kills me with her A+ flirting game and Peggy is so gloriously oblivious. That line in that episode where they're both tied up in that basement, where Dottie goes "If I get free before you, there's no telling what I'll do...". What would she have done? There was so much innuendo in that line. (Was I the only one who heard it?) If you're writing full on shipfic, I don't think these two have a "normal" relationship - they probably either meet up secretly to hatefuck from time to time, despite (or because of) their grand rivalry, or they're manipulating each other, hard, and they have ulterior motives (or at least Dottie does).

Dottie Underwood&/Whitney Frost
I honestly think anything resembling a romantic relationship between these two would be twisted and really unhealthy. I'd love if you explored the dynamics of that. A villainous team-up would be awesome too! These two together could basically be unstoppable.

As you can probably tell from the above, I adore darkfic and angst. But don't worry if you're not comfortable with those - I'm also perfectly happy with fluff (as long as it's not too sickeningly sweet)

My usual c&p general likes + dislikes:

General fic likes: ANGST. Dark!fic. Physical hurt, emotional hurt (comfort optional). Hurt character resisting comfort for reasons. Competence porn. Realistic BDSM . Intimate and/or tender moments. Vulnerability. Character(s) losing control (over emotions, preferably). Extreme loneliness (make me cry!). Prose-poetry. Light fluff.

General fic dislikes: Suicide, domesticity (babies, curtain!fic, etc.), embarrassment (I have a sizable embarrassment squick.) Please note that embarrassment is not the same as erotic humiliation (which btw is HOT.)

For this fest, I'm also going to say no character deaths, because I'm very prone to suicidality myself right now. I'd also appreciate if you could avoid dealing too heavily/deeply with any kind of depression. I usually read these kinds of fics as a sort of bandaid ripping exercise, but my brain is just way too fucked up right now.

Thank you so much! Please rest assured that I'll adore pretty much anything you come up with for these characters and ships.

Sapph.



This entry was originally posted at http://sapphire2309.dreamwidth.org/129126.html. It has comment count unavailable comments there.
sapphire2309: (Peggy 2)
Dear writer,

Thank you for waiting patiently while I gathered enough wits to put this together. I tend to sort my letter by character and ship. I hope that works for you c: Other letters I've written are more detailed and some of the characters and ships match - you can find last year's SSR Conf. letter here, and a letter for another fest that I signed up for with Agent Carter here.

Peggy Carter
BAMF. <3 Spy shenanigans? Beginnings of SHIELD? Early backstory, when she wasn't the confident badass we know and love? (No mention of the conspiracies surrounding her brother, please. I hate that ending storyline with a vengeance.)

Dottie Underwood
Love her to pieces <3 Backstory for her please! Her pesudo-Red Room past fascinates the hell out of me. Also post-S2 fic. Where does she go, what does she do? Does she have resources to fall back on? Old allies? Does a person like her even have allies? Does she have to learn how to survive in a world where she needs to make at least a few true friends to make it, or does she just lie her way through to the end?

Ana Jarvis
I adore this darling human being! She's such a sweetheart. She'd probably be baking for someone in distress. (Spiked with liquor, of course.) Or making garter-holsters for Peggy to match all her skirts. Or cheerfully keeping a lookout and being an excellent distraction while Peggy does some agent/spy thing. She's seriously awesome. (I probably should have requested Ana & Peggy, huh?)

Whitney Frost
Scare the crap out of me with this fabulous villain! She is truly terrifying, as she should be. What if she'd ended up with the world at her feet? What if she'd become famous for her brain before her looks? Would she ever even have chosen to go into acting?

Peggy Carter&/Dottie Underwood
Oh man, these two. Dottie kills me with her A+ flirting game and Peggy is so gloriously oblivious. That line in that episode where they're both tied up in that basement, where Dottie goes "If I get free before you, there's no telling what I'll do...". What would she have done? There was so much innuendo in that line. (Was I the only one who heard it?) If you're writing full on shipfic, I don't think these two have a "normal" relationship - they probably either meet up secretly to hatefuck from time to time, despite (or because of) their grand rivalry, or they're manipulating each other, hard, and they have ulterior motives (or at least Dottie does).

Dottie Underwood&/Whitney Frost
I honestly think anything resembling a romantic relationship between these two would be twisted and really unhealthy. I'd love if you explored the dynamics of that. A villainous team-up would be awesome too! These two together could basically be unstoppable.

As you can probably tell from the above, I adore darkfic and angst. But don't worry if you're not comfortable with those - I'm also perfectly happy with fluff (as long as it's not too sickeningly sweet)

My usual c&p general likes + dislikes:

General fic likes: ANGST. Dark!fic. Physical hurt, emotional hurt (comfort optional). Hurt character resisting comfort for reasons. Competence porn. Realistic BDSM . Intimate and/or tender moments. Vulnerability. Character(s) losing control (over emotions, preferably). Extreme loneliness (make me cry!). Prose-poetry. Light fluff.

General fic dislikes: Suicide, domesticity (babies, curtain!fic, etc.), embarrassment (I have a sizable embarrassment squick.) Please note that embarrassment is not the same as erotic humiliation (which btw is HOT.)

For this fest, I'm also going to say no character deaths, because I'm very prone to suicidality myself right now. I'd also appreciate if you could avoid dealing too heavily/deeply with any kind of depression. I usually read these kinds of fics as a sort of bandaid ripping exercise, but my brain is just way too fucked up right now.

Thank you so much! Please rest assured that I'll adore pretty much anything you come up with for these characters and ships.

Sapph.
sapphire2309: (puppy)
I'll probably use most of these for poetry at my poetry tumblr, but I figure there's no harm in having the table up here C:

Paradox Irony Deus ex
Machina
Suspense
Inversion

Ekphrastic

Analogy

Flashback

Stream of
consciousness
Verse Euphemism Foreshadowing
Anthropo-
morphism
Hyperbole Allegory Tragedy
sapphire2309: (Default)
Characters are *exploding* in my brain. I'm seeing so many new moments, so many new facets, so many (LONG) stories I want to tell.

Except I HAVE NO TIME. NONE. ZERO. ZILCH.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.
sapphire2309: (Neal&Sara 2)
Title: inching closer to the scorpion's tail
Author: [livejournal.com profile] sapphire2309
Characters (Pairings): Neal Caffrey, Sara Ellis (pre- and post-N/S) (don't ask me.)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 852
Disclaimer: White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.
Summary: Neal needs to know if this is their time, their place. If they can be us again.
Author's Note: Set post-series. Season 6 never happened here.
This is... kinda bittersweet? And maybe a bit too lovey-dovey? Honestly, it's a minor miracle I'm writing something... less angsty than my usual fare. I'll take what I can get, and I hope mods will too. The title is from Tori Amos's Sweet the Sting, which I did not listen to in the writing of this fic for fear of Neal and Sara jumping into bed, which is pushing the theme 'gen/PG schmoopyfluff' a bit too far, I think.
This was written for [livejournal.com profile] alltoseek's prompt 'sweet the sting' at [livejournal.com profile] runthecon. It's not explicitly mentioned, but it's there.

She's so beautiful, he wants to reach out and touch her. )

This entry was originally posted at http://sapphire2309.dreamwidth.org/127748.html. It has comment count unavailable comments there.

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